“It isn’t sex that wrecks these guys, it’s staying up all night looking for it.”
For the past decade and a half I have been teaching at Albany State University, in Albany Georgia. At State I get an opportunity to teach a lot of different subjects. In fact, it is not uncommon for me to teach twelve different classes during the course of the year. Believe it or not my subject matter ranges from modern dance right up to advanced kinesiology. I like teaching such a variety of course because I feel like I am constantly learning in them. It is like I am getting paid to learn. It’s great!
Anyway, my favorite class is sex education. It’s an amazing class. We talk about everything in there from autosexual behavior right up to zoophilia. Naturally, I get plenty of teasing from my fellow colleagues. I walk down campus and they will yell out “Hey Judd, does that sex education class you teach have a lab on Saturday nights?” or they will say something a little more ingenious like, “Judd, do you give oral exams in that class?” Of course, I assure them that I do.
In all honesty it is not so much that I teach the class as I learn in it. Believe me, over the years I have learned some incredible things about sex education. For instance, did you know that fertilization is that stuff you put on your lawn to make it green or that fallatio is an Italian restaurant? And here is something else I bet you didn’t know. Cunnilingus is the girl in the dorm who lives across the hall from Nikea. Did you also know that ninety-nine percent of the men in the United States masturbate…the other one percent are liars. And here is something that will really freak you out – some people get sexual gratification out of exposing themselves to others – they are called bodybuilders. I’m telling you; ever day I learn something new in that class. It’s awesome!
What happened recently though in the sports world has changed our discussions in my sex class significantly. If you hadn’t heard the Minnesota Vikings took a sex education field trip on the good ship lollypop and shortly there after two cheerleaders form the Carolina Panthers pro football team visited cunnilingus not at her dorm room, but at a restroom stall in Banana Joe’s nightclub. Now my students have major questions about sex and sports.
For instance, the majority of my students want to know if having sex will have an adverse affect on athletic performance. Well, if you have been following the Vikings since their road trip on the Love Boat you would probably say unequivically yes. Interestingly, though that may not be the case. It just might be that the Vikings are as bad on the football field as thay are in the sack and neither of those two things have anything to do with each other.
Actually, the effect that sexual performance has on athletic performance is a rather provocative question – one that excites me, figuratively speaking, that is. In actuality, I have had a wealth of experiencing dealing with this very issue – empirical research not applied experimentation I might add.
A number of years ago at the Wide World of Sports Super Stars Com?petition in Sarasota, Fla., I overheard the former heavyweight boxing champion of the world, Joe Frazier, tell an aspiring athlete that two months prior to a fight he would totally abstain from sex. Sex will make you weak, I never did it before I fought,” explained Joe. “Besides, when I didn’t get sex, I would get mean as hell.” At the time I thought Joe’s advice was about as good as the swimming exhibition he gave during the Superstars competition (In case you missed it, Joe jumped in the pool, took eight strokes that propelled him three feet, and then went straight to the bottom).
I might have been able to buy the mean and vicious part, but as far as sex causing a decrement in athletic performance, I just didn’t believe it. In fact, I had read somewhere that a world class pole vaulter had set a world record less than one-half hour after he made love to his wife. Joe had to be wrong.
Then I met a world class high jumper named Bruce McDaniels who swore that sex prior to competition would indeed cause a decrement in athletic performance. He said that when he had sex before competition he jumped like well, a white man. Less than a year later, I met six world class boxers who told me that not only did they abstain from sex a week prior to competition, but the night before a fight they would actually ice down their genitals so that they wouldn’t risk having a nocturnal emission. Icing down your genitals sounds about as much fun as getting a rectal exam. These guys were obviously serious about what they were doing.
Still there was that Wilt The Stilt Chamberlain thing that makes you sit back and say, “Sex can’t be all that bad.” If you recall Wilt claimed that he had slam dunked 20,000 different females during his basketball career – which would have figured out to be about 5.14 ladies (I use the word ladies loosely here) a day. No wonder they called him “The Big Dipper.” Certainly sex didn’t seem to affect his performance on the court. Nor did it affect Babe” Ruth’s baseball performance who was equally notorious for countless liaisons. They didn’t call him “The Saltin of Swat” for nothing.
Needless to say, I started wondering if what these guys were saying had any merit. Consequently, I decided to look into the matter. A computer search of the research literature came up dry. I couldn’t find a single well-controlled experiment that was designed to determine how sex affects athletic performance. In an attempt to get some answers, I started interviewing the athletes with whom I came in contact with. I was amazed to find that a number of powerlifters felt that engaging in sexual intercourse the night before competition would significantly decrease their performance. I engaged in sex twice before competition and both times I performed terribly in the meet,” recalls an elite lifter who asked to remain anonymous. “My legs were rubber, and I had no strength in my hips or back.” I used to engage in sexual intercourse before I competed,” reported another elite lifter, but I soon found out that I totaled better when I abstained from sex at least the night before. In my case, sex seemed to make my legs heavy, consequently my squat and dead lift suffered. I guess like Rocky’s coach Mickey says, “Women weakens legs.”
Overall though, most athletes, including powerlifters, felt that sexual relations the night prior to competition did not impair athletic performance. In fact, some athletes actually felt that sex improved their performance.
“Actually, sex is a part of my precompetition ritual,” stated world class Olympic lifter Billy Gardner. “It’s relaxing. It helps me still my mind … oh yea, it feels good too.” Brooks Johnson, the United States Olympic track coach agrees (not with the feels good part, although he might if you asked him). “Having successful, as opposed to unsuccessful sex before competition has many pluses,” says Johnson. “It can be relaxing and fulfilling. For some ath?letes it has the same effect as having a good rubdown.” In my opinion, Johnson is either getting the best rubdown this side of the Gold Club in Atlanta or he is dating someone on the order of Cindy Celibate.
Interestingly, the American Medical Association’s committee on the medical aspects of sports, reports that if sex is a regular part of an athlete’s life, sexual relations the night before competition it will not cause a decrement in athletic performance. According to the AMA, the only way that athletic performance could be hindered by sexual relations prior to competition is:
If the athlete doesn’t get enough sleep.
If sex is not a regular part of the athlete’s life.
If the athlete believes that it will impair his or her athletic performance.
Unfortunately, the American Medical Association didn’t have any research to substantiate the aforementioned points. Of course, you would expect that the A.M.A. would be in the know concerning this issue. However, they’ve been wrong before. Don’t forget it was the A.M.A. who said that anabolic steroids did not enhance strength or athletic performance. In other words, because they (the A.MA) say it’s so doesn’t mean it’s always so. Still, they probably are the people with the information to make the best calculated guess.
When you really think about it, they probably are right. According to Dr. Ruth, the average bout of sexual intercourse only lasts six minutes and it consumes less than two hundred and fifty calories. ( Do you ever wonder who times someone having sex beside my old girlfriend) Notice, I said “average.” For a lifter, it would probably be six hours and a half million calories. Assuming the old cliche is true, that lifters get it up and keep it there. When you think about it, you probably burn up more calories in your first two or three sets of warm-ups. I would also venture to say that most lifters are in pretty good shape (with the exception of a few of our super heavy weights) especially compared to the average Joe Blow walking around. Consequently, they probably can handle six minutes of bliss a lot better than most people?from a physical standpoint that is. Still, all of this is just speculation. When research is conducted to determine the effects of sexual relations on lifting performance, we just may find out that it will decrease performance.
Come to think of it, I’d like to do that research. Anyway, until some research is conducted, your guess is as good as mine as to whether sexual relations will hinder athletic performance. So until then, you’ll have to figure out what’s best for you through trial and error. Look at the bright side though, the trial and the error is going to hurt so g-o-o-d.